I've been sort of in a funk, lately. And one thing I've been thinking is that I need more concrete goals. Weekly, or monthly, or whatever. And they'd have to be things I actually have control over. So, for example, "lose 10 pounds" would be a bad goal; "exercise at least an hour three times a week" would be a good one.
It's not just weight loss, though, it's everything. I feel like I've been failing at pretty much every aspect of my life. (Except reading. I'm awesome at reading.) I know that one thing that's often mentioned as part of the culture shock of graduating and going out into the real world is that life isn't structured the way school is. With school, you're working toward something, you're getting feedback at regular intervals, there's a continuous sense of achievement. Out in the real world . . . well, some jobs work that way, I guess, but life itself doesn't. And while that's not THE reason I miss school, it's definitely A reason, one that I'm very aware of right now. So I need to transfer a little of that to my current situation, I think.
And, of course, what better place than the blog to keep track of all this? I mean, it's a way to keep organized, and to keep accountable. Only . . . where's the line?
With so much oversharing going on, a big question is, "Who really gives a damn?" But let's assume for a second that that's not a problem. Let's say I have a devoted audience -- small, but devoted -- that DOES actually care and will help keep me accountable . . . or maybe I just don't care if no one cares, as long as it's "out there" in a public space where I can't take it back. There's still the question of how much is appropriate? Take that word "appropriate" however you want. Obviously there's plenty of content that may fall into the TMI category, but is there also a point at which the sheer volume becomes inappropriate? Or, if not inappropriate exactly . . . maybe just unhealthy?
And all of this is stuff that any person who spends a decent amount of time on the internet has probably asked themselves (or wondered about others) at some point or another, but combine it all with the fact that MOST of my relationships are long-distance, and therefore the internet is my main way of communicating, and I feel torn. Things that I might ordinarily just share with friends over drinks . . . well, I don't have the option of just getting together for drinks (or whatever), so I go online. And, as long as it isn't something that's really private, that I don't mind the rest of the world knowing if they come across it . . . well, it's just easier to post a general Facebook status, or a Tweet, or something here on the blog, than it is to have a conversation via text or email.
I don't know. This all started because I wanted to start setting some goals for myself and having some way to hold myself to them. And yet, I think I'm hitting that point where I feel like I'm documenting my life more than I'm actually living it.